if so, tell me

i'm trying so hard
i never understand
i'm screaming so hard
without hearts without hands
i want to BE so hard
i am a pile of sand
i hate my thoughts
cause they're so clear
i hate myself
for self crushing fear
it's fear or love
but am i one of the above?
do i know anything?
do the things i know mean anything?
to me? to people? to anyone?
are they worth a dime?
am i the only one in line?
do i even need to question?
do i want to do this perfectly,
or go on like this endlessly?

~sev.

stars don't only shine at night

if the way i dance leads you on
i guess i should stay still so you can move on
if my headbopping and sipping on wine
draws attraction to my mouth, not my mind
than move along
cause i came here to party
maybe bring somebody home
not for the afterparty
but to share our favourite song
have a smoke with me
out of touch with time
have a sip with me
i can't promise we will be fine

~sev.

is it ever though?

you know how my feelings for you work right?
on and off, like a knob or a butt
in your face and out again
demons and angels, in any extent
don't even have to lie any longer
wishing i could stop yours from getting any stronger
oh you know, how did it not stopped you from being a fool?
the way my eyes glitched in the dark
the way you fervently longed for that spark
did it ever came? darling did i do it again?
im trying, keeping me sane
if it's not natural, than is it inhumane?

~sev.

mad sounds

sitting there and watching all the faces
enjoying the ride but been to all these places
worn out like a tennis shoe but still you wonder.

~sev.

come on come on

we carry heavy hearts
with glowing eyes
in all the parts
of our unstable lives
you try and try
there's no such thing as winning
no end nor beginning
i hope you fuck yourself up
and find you again
cause there's no way but up
after finding yourself in these drains.

~sev.

two thousand lightyears from home

give me your answers
i need them to see
give me your words
so im able to speak
tell me your thoughts
to open up my ears
and give me your heart
everytime you're near.

there is no death, sorrow, regret with you.
but if there's a crack showing up
i'll count on you.

~sev.

bae

little by little
my heart drowns in your words
my head drowns in your voice
my fingertips in your soul
tryna make it whole

~sev.

where the heart is

masquerades for hiding your face
oh you read all your books good
and listen to all your tapes
hanging up the posters
of ones who once were great
you say you're into art
well baby that's just great
all i see is stars
and lost friends on your blade

but tell me, how do you feel?

~svl.

you you you

you with all your ways
all your flaws and all your fakes
you with all your words and feelings
with all your meaningless meanings
with all your bullshit and your ugly thoughts
with all your highs and lows and
degrading and devoting and adoring and despising
with your parades and disguising
you with all your acts and gestures
with all your well-picked lines and failing cures
i will not fall today.

~sev.

To every visitor,

First of all thank you for showing interest!

Every poem you will now scroll through, is from the past.
I selected them from my old blog, faketalesofsev, which had loads of bullshit on it as well.
ALL of it, I wrote by myself, unless stated otherwise.
Hope you enjoy (:


~sev.

A story: writers (not by me)

I once dated a writer
Writers are forgetful,
but they remember everything.
They forget appointments and anniversaries,
but remember what you wore,
how you smelled,
on your first date…
They remember every story you’ve ever told them -
like ever,
but forget what you’ve just said.
They don’t remember to water the plants
or take out the trash,
but they don’t forget how
to make you laugh.
Writers are forgetful
because
they’re busy
remembering
the important things.

december 10, 2013

long time no bullshit

i was born
an old soul
and everyone was fine with me
i grew tall
grew wide
untill they could not let me be

they danced on my heart
poured wine on my skin
i tried to tell stop
but they were already in
as they ate all my flesh
and killed all my flees
they lived their own lives
and days were all seized

friday, january 31, 2014

we could be heroes, just for one day

craving the start
craving the new
craving that thing
we all want to do
lets have a good one
come and hit the road
don't stop till we're done
i'll take care of us both

whether we're in for the drag

or in being fools

i won't let time waste

being newborn with you

tuesday, january 28, 2014

i would almost
kiss my screen for you.

sunday, january 26, 2014

a song:

you've never mentioned me before

i don't mean to look starstruck but
you've never mentioned me before.
out of all the things you said
my name dropped like hailstones do
cause you've never mentioned me before.
and i swear just last night
i heard it again, ringing through
i never liked holding my pillow thight
but it's just that you've never mentioned me before.
i would've noticed if you did,
would've asked all my friends about it,
but no, you've never mentioned me before.
was it the dress i wore the other day,
or the gawky things i always say,
babe, you've never mentioned me before.
i don't really have that much to loose,
but i'm stuck on the things i'm supposed to do
how, you've never mentioned me before.
i can't wait to hear it more.

friday, january 24, 2014

still got my money

have you ever wondered
that look upon my face
i never meant for it to be there
it's just a part i can't erase.
have you ever heard the words
i speak when i'm all naked
i can't tell wrong from right
bad habits that i've always  hated.
have you ever read my thoughts
when no one is around
when my head is severly aching
and my soul completely drowned.

thursday, january 23, 2014

judging a book. by it's cover.

you're a book
with a cover full of amazing artwork
quotes, pictures, fanmail and fun
but you won't let me open you
either the pages you contain
are too white
or too dark.

monday, january 20, 2014

heartbreakers

Is she good in bed?
Is she all you had?
Is she there to answer all the questions in your head?
Is she there to narrow all tensions running bad?
Does she catch your eye like a stranger?
Do you love the insane and the sane her?
Does she make you feel right in place, right at time, in perfect pace?
Does she makes it feel like living life and not a phase?
Do you see her standing looking like a statue goddess?
Does she do the things that make her look modest?
Did you saw through to her and lost faith in you?
Did you stopped believing after acknowledging the human soul?
Did you stopped dreaming this was everything you wanted to?
Did you stopped adoring after you saw her as you see you?
Cunt.

wednesday, january 15, 2014

january

they tell me to shut up
and just be pretty.
i tell them i might be
just childlike and witty.

sunday, september 15, 2013

dirty

today i woke up being
sad sight seeying
the morning felt as if being on the edge of a fall
but breakfast taught me nothing will ever change at all
i'm milk inside a bowl, with frosted flakes of lies
it's worse that i'm the milk because the lies are all mine
i'm never sure about you, never sure you're all it
but every night you're not with me i wonder who you're with
i should've never called you names
i should've never played your games
i should've kissed you on your head
i should've saved me instead
i still wonder what to do
i've been everybody's fool
i've been everybody's sweetheart
til the day i got caught
i slaughtered my own kingdom
i bath in blood of sin
i dine with headless guilt pawns
telling me i'll never win

friday, september 13, 2013

A song:

endure and injure

I
Am here
I've waited all this time
I don't need more
I've had my spot in line
It's my turn now make me shine
Make me shine just like you said
I've been here waiting
I'm in shreds
Flat iron fix me with your hands
Dress me up and build my roof
I'll get there fast, i'll be there soon
Have all my hopes up
Don't let me down
You said you will
But I've been waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting..
I
Am here
Just like everyone staring and feeling
We're screaming but no one is hearing
And we want our money back
And we want our land
We want to change but
A plan is a plan
And we are the pawns
We are just people
Walk over me and
Forget how I feel
You said so much of this and that
But you've made our home a rotting wreck
The air is so thick of smoke and fog
I can't even walk through all this mess
I
Am here
Full of regret
But I don't have a choice
I lay this upon you
I know I'm just noise
I'll bet it don't matter
You´ll dont understand
But that is what makes it
So perfectly mad
My sacrifice is and
Always will
Your every nightmare
Your most predominant kill

friday, september 6, 2013

brick by brick by brick

im walking through dawn
nauseating and humid
i cant see the sun
but they hung up a lightbulb
it doesnt function the way they want to
it doesnt fry my brain even if i wanted to
what a pity it effects you
what a shame of a perfectly good brain
how unfortunate to turn into a fish
how sad to be served as their homemade dish
you see me through the damp and i see you
if you'd like it could just be us two
and we'll get there eventually
conditionally being us perpetually

sunday, september 1, 2013

deeper reaper

what if he stands behind the corner
what if he sits here right between us
what if he never says a single word
but always knows exactly what to say

what if he is all world's wisdom
what if he is all of the rich folks
what if you never ever saw him coming in your life
but he was waiting armes spread wide

it could all be over now
i swear you'll be right on my mind
and when the reaper swings
i'll count the times
you were with me and will still be
cause you're forever her with me

saturday, august 17, 2013

i walked on water
just for a few days
i walked on water
it rose above me
transformed in a maze
it's too troubled for see through
it's too dense to breathe through
i swam in water
i thought for a few miles
but it turned out to be an ocean
swimming the yards while
drinking some what galleons
and eating the fish
rotten and smelly
my body to the bottom
turned inside out
seaghost haunting.

thursday, august 15, 2013

this night
you will call me by my name
you will burn in piles of shame
you will sing your holy songs
but i have known you all along
i was the one who walked with you
i was the one who walked you through
who was the girl with the death stabbed back
who was the girl turned in a trainwreck
you oughta think more before you speak, son
you oughta think more, do you enjoy your fun?
is your life even real
does your heart even feel
does your brain connect
to feelings being facts
it's proved scientifically
butterflies terrifically
liar liar, feet on fire
walk on water
thanks, don't bother.

thursday, august 15, 2013

so sick

if i can take this shit today
i might as well be more than me
i might as well be more this week
i might as well be less as weak
i will be your mother, child just see

inside the evil is growing
but i won't let it take over my eyes
inside the devil is showing
but darling don't fear,
i don't have much to disguise

if god wants me in heaven
baby doll just close your eyes
if god wants me to meet him
it's greater than sickness or crime

doctor oh doctor, i'm not sure i want to live
but doctor oh doctor,
tell me you you have something to give

sunday, august 11, 2013

People

i am a monster
i am a beast
and no one wants to be around me

i am a fairytale
i am a dream
but everyone is annoyed with me

i am a fighter
i am the pain
i am the enemy, they think i am insane

i am the thinker
i am the books
i have so much more to give than looks

i am the sea
i am the wind
i stand where i go
and go where i stand

i wish there was someone
who was somewhat like me
without adapting, we could just be.

sunday, august 11, 2013

Our Things

a tale of two bodies
a tale of two souls
a song of them lovers
a song with no words
a pulse of rhytm
a pulse of melody
a breathe of two mouths
a breathe in one theme

one word or one whisper
one thought and one hiss
changes things into the end of bliss
take in your last moments
kiss now your goodbyekiss.

thursday, august 8, 2013

you're not dying

the pain of today
drives yesterdays away

thursday, august 8, 2013

cake

fuck
fuck fuck fuck
oh
my god
drink all the cups
deep down i'll see love
look through the liquor
right through the glass
i cant see Elvis dancing
i dont see Johnny Cash
all there is left
is kitchen dried cake
i don't know how i'll fall asleep
don't know how much i can take
everyone knows
i'm going to break
everyone knows
my head is too vague

monday, august 5, 2013

Parc benches

that man looked at the people
crossing over, stopped at signs
like beasts they all ran over
for their jobs and other plans
he shoved his paper twice that day
with titles of them men
all it took was one day
to cross over, ran over him
all it took was one night
to end on Moral Parc's bench
walk tall, girl, walk in tall boots
walk all the malls you can
walk girl, taller than all of them

new years eve he spends with grieve
easter is always the same
summer doesnt start no more
no summer for insane

sunday, august 4, 2013

cheaters

4 walls of chaos
i count the minutes till they look at me
its my turn just look away
this is not how i thought my day would be
and so im chewed out, spit on, raped all naked
endure the pain girl, go on fake it
just a few more seconds and than its done
and like a cd they move on to the next one
chew em spit rape and cut em
wide open on the rooms table.
says i'll keep your secret save with me
exchanged our blood, my excuse to cheat.

friday, july 26, 2013

Looking for more

Mr Watson walked 20 feet and back
He ought to see the world
But he only witnessed Death
Mr Watson flew 20 miles and beyond
He ought to see the stars
But he only saw our lawns
Mr Watson drove 20 inch and forgot
Remembered as he saw his keys
His family is all he needs, all he's got.

monday, july 15, 2013

the world

the world fell in a hole
it fell and left it's soul
if you wander far enough
it's yours to love and be loved.

and if a man one day
would run and scream away
follow the world right into the hole
you'd be warned about this dark black soul.

thursday, june 27, 2013

Looks

we were all here
in a pit of our shit
but at least together.
we cleaned it all up
made it our home
did it with love
until flowers began to grow.
it was beautiful but then one day
my very best doll
picked one away.
she screeched as one flower made her bleed
"it's a fake!" she told me,
"a fake from their seed!"
we sat and wondered, looked around
it was so piteous, to hear her heart pound
i knew, yeah, i knew for a while
the difference is, i never touched
i liked the look of it way too much

wednesday, june 26, 2013

Waterfalls

their heads are in the drain
their childhood was insane
she can't keep up with her mom
he can't take care of his son
they all have seen the end
to die young or pretend
is their drive, the last light
the salvation for the night
just one more bloody drink
'i can't see shit, i can't think'
tomorrow is not here
invulnerable for fear
their souls are solid walls
eternal burning waterfalls

monday, june 17, 2013

Sleep

I came here hatless
With the top of my head bare
I came here restless
With no soul ever to spare
I came here quietly
A ghost between men
I came here defeated
My hands unbend
I came with eyes
But not to see
I came with ears
But not to hear
I came to sing
I came to mourn
I came to sleep
With thoughts sour
They caught the smoke I walked in today
They caught the laughter I laughed all day
They tasted my people, my world, my play
All for nothing, all to pay.

monday, may 20, 2013

On and on and on and on

deadly doses
of files and piles
soggy cheeks
and dreadful eyes
swollen feet
my hands are tied
work my way around the clock
a scheduled unintentional mock

thursday, february 28, 2013

I've seen this place in dreams

I don't want to live my life in double
I'd like to know how I would be without
It only brings me nothing but trouble
And leaves me an ocean without origin and proud

monday, november 26, 2012

Wondering While Wandering
Lost in wavy paths and falling in
The holes of my pockets, they've turned so deep
Out of them the voices whisper what my eyes can´t see

sunday november 18, 2012

I just need to think about the probability of this.
This needs a keen eye, with perseverance, without sigh.

sunday november 18, 2012

Dead Loving Corpses

I heard a tale of a city, now ruines, so old
Of a prince and a dame, uttermost bold
They fought against their thorns and traps
And in one eye failed,
Cause they bled to death
And they carried on, had them buried at once
Turned their rather proudly bodies
And fooled new minds with tricks and stunts
They never noticed, the sketchy old cunts,
and will never see, will never know,
That the hands of the dead loving corpses,
never let each other go.

sunday, november 11, 2012

my tea is fucking cold
my bed is fucking bold
my wheels are fucking wack
my sobriety will never come back
my shoes are dead at end and gone
my life is long fulfilled and haunt
my ghost will not even take the time
for silly living and silly whines.

thursday, october 4, 2012

een jongen die veel voelt
nooit zegt wat hij bedoelt
nooit knippert als hij lacht
nooit praat, hij fluistert zacht
geen haren op zijn hoofd
zijn blik al net zo dood
geen woorden op zijn tong
nooit danste en nooit zong
zijn hoofd zwaar en vol
zijn hart leeg en hol
die jongen is van mij
onzichtbaar kijkt hij blij

~sev.

wednesday, september 26, 2012

Queen of Ice

he doesn't seem to have much interest
in the color of her lips and her newest purchases
doesn't care for her slang but carries on his chases
cause he realised that once he, just him
approaches her alone
it's not her head but her heart speaking
and she sometimes needs her day off from the throne.

thursday, september 6, 2012

I wonder how people live their lives.
I don't get it anymore,
How do they get in this rotating bore?
School ain't bad in a small town like this
I wish I went, got oceans of time
Alas, ran out of words to rhyme
Not longer calling my own body mine
My ceiling became my best friend
His are the only parties I attend
And the pages of the books I read
Started looking back at me
"19, Female, not seeking for gold
I need a human soul
To show me cafés and sunsets in Paris"
With all those gazes in this town
I get tóó quickly tóó embaressed
And when I scream my feet shiver
And when I eat I smell and taste liver
And my saliva feels like blood
Well, maybe it is,
Maybe it's an up, close & personal flood

thursday, september 6, 2012

up & down

"Don't you love it?"

Love it? How could i possibly love it? 

I believe the view from down-up is much greater, 

enchanting, mesmerizing and inspiring instead of up-down, 

the better you look, the more you concentrate, desperate to see better, the worse it gets.

No, let me be down, let me be halfway 'bout the time i die, but never, never up there.

monday, september 3, 2012

air can smell
and
air can hurt
air can easily bring you dirt
it's safe to say that
there's more than meets the eye
because the most,
air is a pretty little lie

tuesday, august 28, 2012

a living room

i took in beautiful colors
and learned how to paint
didn't study much numbers
but knew how to acquaint
various stories through many drawings
and long gone lives full of mockings

my place became the biggest piece
the basics unable to retrieve
the pink caressing my flaws and words
the yellow accenting all the thirst
the sun falling down the window pane
creating an atmospheric shadowframe
and in the winter it's coated up
with snow and wishes and hope and luck.

tuesday, may 1, 2012

colour my life with the chaos of trouble

Zij is bruin
Zij is wit
Zij heeft alles in bezit
Mooie lach met witten tanden
Mooie kin en kaakranden

Zij is wit
Zij is bruin
Maar zij ligt ook niet in de puin
Ze danst als een ster op de oceaan
Niemand die zal denken aan weggaan

Zij is bruin
Zij is wit
Zij en zij, zij zijn met pit
Zij, zei zij, zij zijn blij

Maar ik?
Ik ben karamel
Net niet, net wel.

saturday january 28, 2012

everytime my phone rings
i hope it's you
but it's just my alarm clock
telling me what to do

monday december 12, 2011

pink cakes

They aren't sweet, they are bitter
Leaving a disgusting taste on your tongue
They aren't pink, they are plastic
With plastic pigments in them
The cake is too crumbly,
The cake is too dry
They never talk back,
They don't taste better when I cry

monday september 26, 2011

My Dearest,

It's like everyone is wearing their pink sunglasses.
But people, the sun isn't shining.
Now everyone is talking bout love
But ask them again
You'll find the answer infront of them
Girl checks out boy and she thinks he's kinda cute
Went to see a movie but now he told her salut
So she's crying and blogging
About love, love and tea
And she thinks about everything except herself, except 'me'
You see,
The world is not about love, though I can't deny
It's a big part of it, impossible to hide
But there's so much more than that
More than just a crush
And I could tell you from tip to toe
From New York to Bejing
But instead I'm going to tell you the same old - same thing
Love is in your heart, in your mind and in your soul
You can give, you can take, but never let it go
Swipe away your tears, listen carefully and repeat:
The only one I gotta love,
Truly love, 
Is me.

wednesday, august 3, 2011

crawling

My head is aching
I tend to write about it all,
But I lose the words each time I fall
I wish it had the depth of an endless lake
Whatever that floats nearby would be mine to take

sunday july 10, 2011

he was the first to say i love you well i meant saying it
but it slipped my mind oh i'm sorry that sounds non-caring
but i guess i was too occupied staring
in a pair of green sparkly eyes, with my mind on cheesy lines

monday, june 20, 2011

and they all have beautiful hair
and beautiful eyes
and beautiful smiles
and beautiful voices
and beautiful whispers
and beautiful screams
and beautiful scent
and beautiful hands
and beautiful legs
and beautiful noses
and beautiful lips
and beautiful cheeks
and beautiful bones
and beautiful lashes
and beautiful chins
and beautiful heads
and beautiful skins
and beautiful bodies
and beautiful bellies
and beautiful breasts
and beautiful bums
and beautiful toes
and beautiful nails
and beautiful eyebrows
and beautiful backs
and beautiful cleavage
and beautiful collarbones
and beautiful shoulders
and beautiful necks